Freeeeeeedoooooommmm!

Generally, people who spout off about how much they love freedom don't actually give a shit about freedom. Or, they misinterpret it. Joyce S., who writes to the Warrenton Journal, is a good example of this.

The United States of America!

Yay! America!

Though young in years compared to other nations, much wisdom was shown in its establishment.

I agree. Joyce, tell us how this is true!

Our founding fathers believed in the possibilities of a free nation of people who would elect their own leaders and have freedom of worship.

Yeah, something like that.

How fortunate we are that our founding fathers gave us these privileges. Our government is set up so that if we don't like those who are leading our nation, all we have to do is wait for the next election.

Eh, it's a little more complicated than that. After all, George Bush is still in office, and no one outside of culture expert Anne Garcia really likes him. But Joyce, your space is limited, so whatever.

We have the freedom to choose what we do with our lives, where we live and where we work.

Some people have more freedom than others. Differences in socioeconomic status, culture, and so on mean that freedom is not really inherent. Still, limited space!

But our most cherished freedom is the freedom to worship God according to His will.

Clunk. That was the sound of Thomas Jefferson punching himself in the sack. Joyce, shouldn't that read "our most cherished freedom is the freedom to worship whoever da fuck we want"???????????

Or, how about this - our most cherished freedom is the freedom to cherish our freedoms at varying degrees, as we want to cherish them. Cherish cherish cherish.

So this Fourth of July, let's stop and thank God for the freedoms we enjoy, and let's work hard in order to keep them.

Joyce - let's call you "J-Diddy" - you're free to thank God for these freedoms, but I'm just as free to thank Albert Pujols for them. That's freedom.