Ah, it's swimsuit season

...and you know what that means.

Maybe it's just something I'll never understand, being so incredibly masculine and comfortable with my selection of tight, revealing lycra bathing wear, but how many humor/fashion/lifestyle columns can be written about swimsuits?

Answer: always one more. Check this gem from the Columbia Tribune's Irene Haskins, who actually founded the newspaper in 1901 at the tender age of 37.

Show me a woman who enjoys shopping for a swimsuit and I’ll show you a woman who can stuff sausage through a straw.

Ah yes. Sausage-stuffing. That's what I think of when I think of swimsuits.

Show me a woman who's brave enough to wear a two-piece to the country club, and I'll show you a woman who can really slap a wiener between two buns.

(In related news, the Tribune recently ran this letter concerning the warning signs of sexual harassment in public. It's cool! But at first glance, we thought it was a to-do list.)