Chop, chop!

Sports columnists can't resist writing choppy one-line paragraphs. It makes their columns feel folksy. Accessible. Conversational. Hey, we like to do the same thing sometimes.

Just not all the time.

Know what else sportswriters can't resist? Weird, archaic references to old things. Stuff grandpa remembers. Stuff from the golden years of childhood. The good ol' days. Again, folksy stuff.

In today's Philadelphia Inquirer, Sam Donnellon goes for the double whammy.

Not only are the Yankees in grave danger of missing the postseason, they are in grave danger of playing in meaningless games in September.

The last time that happened was in 1992.

And we all know what happened with the Phillies in 1993.

So it's a good omen, right? The Yanks in the tank is good for baseball, even better for fans of the Phils.

Ding dong the Yanks are dead, the Yanks are dead, the Yanks are dead;

Ding dong, the wicked Yanks are dead . . .

Hold it right there, Munchkins.

You might not want a house to land on them just yet.

(Let's just go ahead and finish this column for Sam. He's worked hard enough.)

The Yanks used to say "there's no place like home."

But they're not in Kansas anymore.

Actually, they never were.

They're just playing like it.

Yankees fans are singing "If I Only Had a Team."

In Philly, we're hoping to land somewhere over the rainbow.

Where the dreams we dare to dream...

...really do come true.

Done! Now leave me alone. Bedknobs and Broomsticks is on.