Sunday, May 25, 2008
Fox News - um, you can't say that
Liz Trotta doesn't seem to be a huge Barack Obama fan...or as she calls him - "Osama." I hope she thinks the Secret Service are handsome, because she may have a date with them soon. Bill O'Reilly isn't available for comment. Shame shame.
Friday, May 23, 2008
It's been a while
I never thought we'd return. Over the past few months, we've been incredibly busy - "X" started his career as a sheepherder, and I finished up my degree in pizza eating. So we haven't updated, although there were certainly times when we thought about it. Well think no more, because everyone's favorite bastion of intolerance has written her most offensive column yet.
"Demo's, al Qaeda profess same goal"
A few months ago, Anne T. Garcia said that George W. Bush is God's great general. So this kind of horse shit really isn't out of the ordinary, for her. That doesn't make it any less offensive.
It's memorial day weekend, and America heads to the beaches, mountains, and campsites to celebrate the traditional beginning of summer
"It's 3AM, and your children are sleeping..."
Cemeteries are donned with wreaths and flowers honoring those who have paid the ultimate price to secure our liberty. As the saying goes, freedom isn't free.
Anne has a widget on her computer called "Patriotic Slogan Generator v0.22." It's like porn to her.
Many brave Americans rallied to join the armed services after the despicable acts of Sept. 11, 2001. They understood the words of President George W. Bush that proved to be eerily prophetic: The axis of evil is Iraq, Iran and North Korea.In a larger sense, they represent radical Sunni Islam (Iraq), radial Shiite Islam (Iran) and communism (North Korea). These three evils will continue to be the greatest threat to humanity, until they are annihilated.
Anne, most of those brave Americans you speak of didn't think they'd be duped into fighting a pointless, unjust, quagmire of a war. "President" Bush had the goodwill of mostly the entire world on his side after 9/11. Squandering that is like popping out on one of Barry Zito's 83 mph fastballs; Bush earned himself a backwards K in this case.
And what's this talk of annihilation? Is that something a good Christian would say? You're a horrible person.
The world should be beating a path to Washington, D.C., and Israel, thanking them for their stance against terrorism. But it isn't playing out that way.
"Thank you Mr. Bush for starting a war in Iraq which has made Iran more powerful, and also, we couldn't be happier that the terrorists in Afghanistan are stronger than ever because you decided to turn your attention to Iraq." So, Anne...how is all this playing out?
Inexplicably in America, even the Democratic Party is lining up with one of the main goals of al Qaeda.
Well if that's not the craziest, cunt-iest thing I've ever read, I don't know what could be!
She goes on to cite a memo from al-Zawahiri, regarding "the future plans of Al Qaeda in 2005." These somehow compare to the Democratic Party's plans...for Al Qaeda in 2008, according to Anne Garcia, horrible person and voice of the lunatic Christian right:
The first stage: Expel the Americans from Iraq.
Democrats want to end the war by removing American troops safely and peacefully. They don't want to "expel" them. "Expel" has some pretty violent connotations, no?
The second stage: Establish an Islamic authority . . . until it achieves the level of a caliphate . . . in order to fill the void stemming from the departure of the Americans.
The third stage: Extend the jihad wave to the secular countries neighboring Iraq.
The fourth stage: The clash with Israel.
So the Democrats want to establish an Islamic authority, extend the jihad, and then...start a war with Israel? Or, Anne, were you just basing your stupid comparison on the first phase, which was baseless in itself?
It couldn't be any more clear. The Democratic Party and its presidential hopefuls have the same goal as al Qaeda: Remove the Americans from Iraq.
Oh, OK, you were. Thanks for clearing that up.
Maybe the Dem's don't realize that the next play in the Sunni playbook is to take the Middle East for al Qaeda. Or maybe they just don't care.
Read this column by Joe Biden, the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, and tell me who's out of touch and who doesn't care. That's right -- take a minute to minimize that picture of Bush clearing brush (and while you're at it, take your hand off your twat), and read something from outside your echo chamber of ignorance.
Now call me crazy, call me naive, call me a patriot, but I don't think Americans should line up on the same side with al Qaeda.
You are crazy and naive. You're not a patriot, as if that's some sort of insult. What is insulting is that you fancy yourself a patriot, when you're actually a black hole of fundamentalist despotism, ridden with logical fallacies so vast that even Bill O'Reilly himself looks marginally sane in your shadow.
If the Democrats cannot wrest their party from the George Souros, ultra left, radicals then they do not deserve your vote.
Don't you mean George SOROS? Anyway, remember that Sarah Silverman thing that came out a few months ago - "I'm Fucking Matt Damon"? Anne should come out with her own version: "I'm Fucking Dick Cheney." I hereby apologize to everyone reading this for that image, and to Barry Zito, who I've heard is a really cool guy.
"Demo's, al Qaeda profess same goal"
A few months ago, Anne T. Garcia said that George W. Bush is God's great general. So this kind of horse shit really isn't out of the ordinary, for her. That doesn't make it any less offensive.
It's memorial day weekend, and America heads to the beaches, mountains, and campsites to celebrate the traditional beginning of summer
"It's 3AM, and your children are sleeping..."
Cemeteries are donned with wreaths and flowers honoring those who have paid the ultimate price to secure our liberty. As the saying goes, freedom isn't free.
Anne has a widget on her computer called "Patriotic Slogan Generator v0.22." It's like porn to her.
Many brave Americans rallied to join the armed services after the despicable acts of Sept. 11, 2001. They understood the words of President George W. Bush that proved to be eerily prophetic: The axis of evil is Iraq, Iran and North Korea.In a larger sense, they represent radical Sunni Islam (Iraq), radial Shiite Islam (Iran) and communism (North Korea). These three evils will continue to be the greatest threat to humanity, until they are annihilated.
Anne, most of those brave Americans you speak of didn't think they'd be duped into fighting a pointless, unjust, quagmire of a war. "President" Bush had the goodwill of mostly the entire world on his side after 9/11. Squandering that is like popping out on one of Barry Zito's 83 mph fastballs; Bush earned himself a backwards K in this case.
And what's this talk of annihilation? Is that something a good Christian would say? You're a horrible person.
The world should be beating a path to Washington, D.C., and Israel, thanking them for their stance against terrorism. But it isn't playing out that way.
"Thank you Mr. Bush for starting a war in Iraq which has made Iran more powerful, and also, we couldn't be happier that the terrorists in Afghanistan are stronger than ever because you decided to turn your attention to Iraq." So, Anne...how is all this playing out?
Inexplicably in America, even the Democratic Party is lining up with one of the main goals of al Qaeda.
Well if that's not the craziest, cunt-iest thing I've ever read, I don't know what could be!
She goes on to cite a memo from al-Zawahiri, regarding "the future plans of Al Qaeda in 2005." These somehow compare to the Democratic Party's plans...for Al Qaeda in 2008, according to Anne Garcia, horrible person and voice of the lunatic Christian right:
The first stage: Expel the Americans from Iraq.
Democrats want to end the war by removing American troops safely and peacefully. They don't want to "expel" them. "Expel" has some pretty violent connotations, no?
The second stage: Establish an Islamic authority . . . until it achieves the level of a caliphate . . . in order to fill the void stemming from the departure of the Americans.
The third stage: Extend the jihad wave to the secular countries neighboring Iraq.
The fourth stage: The clash with Israel.
So the Democrats want to establish an Islamic authority, extend the jihad, and then...start a war with Israel? Or, Anne, were you just basing your stupid comparison on the first phase, which was baseless in itself?
It couldn't be any more clear. The Democratic Party and its presidential hopefuls have the same goal as al Qaeda: Remove the Americans from Iraq.
Oh, OK, you were. Thanks for clearing that up.
Maybe the Dem's don't realize that the next play in the Sunni playbook is to take the Middle East for al Qaeda. Or maybe they just don't care.
Read this column by Joe Biden, the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, and tell me who's out of touch and who doesn't care. That's right -- take a minute to minimize that picture of Bush clearing brush (and while you're at it, take your hand off your twat), and read something from outside your echo chamber of ignorance.
Now call me crazy, call me naive, call me a patriot, but I don't think Americans should line up on the same side with al Qaeda.
You are crazy and naive. You're not a patriot, as if that's some sort of insult. What is insulting is that you fancy yourself a patriot, when you're actually a black hole of fundamentalist despotism, ridden with logical fallacies so vast that even Bill O'Reilly himself looks marginally sane in your shadow.
If the Democrats cannot wrest their party from the George Souros, ultra left, radicals then they do not deserve your vote.
Don't you mean George SOROS? Anyway, remember that Sarah Silverman thing that came out a few months ago - "I'm Fucking Matt Damon"? Anne should come out with her own version: "I'm Fucking Dick Cheney." I hereby apologize to everyone reading this for that image, and to Barry Zito, who I've heard is a really cool guy.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
While we were out
OK, I know we've been gone for a while. But come on.
At the Missouri Press Association's annual awards luncheon, our beloved KDE editor, Grego P. Fabulous, won THIRD PLACE honors in the best columnist competition. Third place. Out of like five. At least two columnists actually finished behind Grego.
What "Press Association" from hell.........................?
Anyway, it was the first such award Grego received since this 2004 accolade and damnit, it had better be the last. He is not even the third best columnist in Kirksville.
More to come soon.
EDIT: The story included a picture of Grego. He's in the center. Gregory Orear: Award-winning journalist, and an avid user of mousse. Here's what his fans had to say:
At the Missouri Press Association's annual awards luncheon, our beloved KDE editor, Grego P. Fabulous, won THIRD PLACE honors in the best columnist competition. Third place. Out of like five. At least two columnists actually finished behind Grego.
What "Press Association" from hell.........................?
Anyway, it was the first such award Grego received since this 2004 accolade and damnit, it had better be the last. He is not even the third best columnist in Kirksville.
More to come soon.
EDIT: The story included a picture of Grego. He's in the center. Gregory Orear: Award-winning journalist, and an avid user of mousse. Here's what his fans had to say:
Leisa Gardner wrote on Sep 12, 2007 9:40 AM:
" "Congrat" well done to some well deserving, miss your columns in the LCL can't wait until Monday to read Good luck in the future "
Leisa learned to write at the Grego School of Sentence Structure. She majored in "totally forgetting that punctuation exists," and graduated with honors.
Leisa learned to write at the Grego School of Sentence Structure. She majored in "totally forgetting that punctuation exists," and graduated with honors.
vance myers wrote on Sep 11, 2007 10:48 PM:
" Congrats well deserved.... It is great to see the quality of journalism we have in (for) the community....This is the type of thing we need to build pride in our community and the people in it.....Thanks for the good work!!!! "
Vance's first name is actually "Lance." He just thinks "Vance" sounds cool.
Vance's first name is actually "Lance." He just thinks "Vance" sounds cool.
CK wrote on Sep 11, 2007 5:24 PM:
" Congratulation! Out did the KC Star, huh? I'm impressed! Don't mind saying I am! :-) "
So far, Grego has received one "congrat" and one "congratulation." They love him because he writes on their level.
So far, Grego has received one "congrat" and one "congratulation." They love him because he writes on their level.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Is this one of those "here's your sign" things?
Our readers know that we love headlines. Here's one from the Chicago Tribune:
Could have fooled me! The guy who wrote this article, Greg(o) Johnson, has a history of "master of the obvious"-type headlines. For example, here's one from 1994:
"Slicing up white people hurts Simpson's broadcasting career"
At least his golf swing wasn't compromised!
Ad firms doubting future of NFL star
Michael Vick's image hurt by animal abuse
Could have fooled me! The guy who wrote this article, Greg(o) Johnson, has a history of "master of the obvious"-type headlines. For example, here's one from 1994:
"Slicing up white people hurts Simpson's broadcasting career"
At least his golf swing wasn't compromised!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Chipping away at my sanity
I'm watching the Cardinals play the Braves right now on TBS. Adam Wainwright is pitching, and Chip Caray is the announcer. He's the grandson of Harry Caray - his real name is actually Harry Caray III. He's also a moron; here's what he said about Wainwright's contributions to the 2006 Cardinals:
"You could say that Wainwright was the MVP of last year's Cardinals team...he was an excellent middle reliever and then took over as the closer when Isringhausen went down...then he got the final out of the World Series. "
Adam Wainwright was pretty god-damned good last year, Chip. But the Cardinals also had a guy named Albert Pujols on the 2006 team. He's also on the '07 team! Albert's OPS+ last year was 180. His EqA was .358. His WARP3 was 13.2. In April and May, he carried the team with a .315/.449/.775 line. Adam Wainwright, meanwhile, was a really good relief pitcher. Thankfully, Chip shut himself up after...wait, he said more.
"Wainwright could also be the MVP of this year's team; he's the only pitcher who's been able to go out there every fifth day for this Cardinals team blah blah blah."
God damnit. Wainwright has been the best Cardinals starter, I'll give him that. He's turning into a very good starting pitcher. However, Albert Pujols is on this team, too. Since May 1st, he's hitting .336/.438/.590. If the Cards make the playoffs, he will probably win the MVP. Of the National League. The fact that he's the team MVP is a given.
"You could say that Wainwright was the MVP of last year's Cardinals team...he was an excellent middle reliever and then took over as the closer when Isringhausen went down...then he got the final out of the World Series. "
Adam Wainwright was pretty god-damned good last year, Chip. But the Cardinals also had a guy named Albert Pujols on the 2006 team. He's also on the '07 team! Albert's OPS+ last year was 180. His EqA was .358. His WARP3 was 13.2. In April and May, he carried the team with a .315/.449/.775 line. Adam Wainwright, meanwhile, was a really good relief pitcher. Thankfully, Chip shut himself up after...wait, he said more.
"Wainwright could also be the MVP of this year's team; he's the only pitcher who's been able to go out there every fifth day for this Cardinals team blah blah blah."
God damnit. Wainwright has been the best Cardinals starter, I'll give him that. He's turning into a very good starting pitcher. However, Albert Pujols is on this team, too. Since May 1st, he's hitting .336/.438/.590. If the Cards make the playoffs, he will probably win the MVP. Of the National League. The fact that he's the team MVP is a given.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Oh baby, you're so hot
My colleague came across this article, God knows how, and sent it to me. I think it's worth sharing with our loyal readers.
Fire ends teens' attempt to lose virginity
"A TEENAGE couple having sex for the first time were interrupted when candles set fire to the girl's attic bedroom and forced them to flee naked from her parents' house, German daily Bild reported today."
This is great. Talk about a memorable first time! This is worse than a story I heard from one of my friends - he sat his bare ass on the hood of a car that had just been driven for 3 hours. Actually, I don't think sex was involved that time. He was just naked and needed a place to sit. Either way, nakedness + thermal radiation = bad. This couple, since they were having sex in an attic, had a lot to contend with. Wasps, fiberglass, weird ceilings, and so on. Burning down her parents' house was probably the least of their worries. I offer my sincerest condolences.
Fire ends teens' attempt to lose virginity
"A TEENAGE couple having sex for the first time were interrupted when candles set fire to the girl's attic bedroom and forced them to flee naked from her parents' house, German daily Bild reported today."
This is great. Talk about a memorable first time! This is worse than a story I heard from one of my friends - he sat his bare ass on the hood of a car that had just been driven for 3 hours. Actually, I don't think sex was involved that time. He was just naked and needed a place to sit. Either way, nakedness + thermal radiation = bad. This couple, since they were having sex in an attic, had a lot to contend with. Wasps, fiberglass, weird ceilings, and so on. Burning down her parents' house was probably the least of their worries. I offer my sincerest condolences.
Attack of the killer taint
We here at the Daily Grego love a good headline. This qualifies as, well, a pretty fucking awesome headline.
"Will the Abramoff Taint Do New Harm This Time?"
Thanks, Yahoo! News, for making my day. Not even the world of hardcore porno has ventured into graphic acts involving Republican lobbyist taint. And you thought this post would bring in the riff-raff!
"Will the Abramoff Taint Do New Harm This Time?"
Thanks, Yahoo! News, for making my day. Not even the world of hardcore porno has ventured into graphic acts involving Republican lobbyist taint. And you thought this post would bring in the riff-raff!
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